I didn’t want to leave you. I didn’t want us to be over I wanted to do all of the things l’d promised. But you lied and you hurt me when you promised you were different and you promised that you loved me. That wasn’t love I have no idea what it was apart from a mess. My heart hurts when I think of you now and all of the things we would do. I fell very hard and I sank very deep and now that it’s over and I know who you are and what sort of decisions you have made I hate you a little. I hate that you lied to me and cheated and made our time together seem like a joke. You’re mad at me because I didn’t give you a real reason for leaving you. Truth is I couldn’t feel anything for you without it hurting some way or another. And since we’ve been over everything you’ve done has been so much worse. If I hadn’t of left for the reasons I did I would have left for all of the others that have followed.
Maybe I didn’t love you like I thought I did. In fact I don’t think I ever really loved you- I loved you as a friend and you’ve left me anyway. What I could offer you after you’d broken me wasn’t good enough and now I don’t see us ever talking.
I see you hurting and I see me pretending that everything’s okay and that it doesn’t bother me. That’s just the way this has gone and there’s nothing I can do to change it. I miss you and I loved you and I’m sorry that I’m so fucking mad at you but you deserve it. You’re wrong.